Perhaps it has more to do with geography, money and a lack of company focus on communications and training. I do not live in europe so I do not have the oppotutnity to go to any of the trade shows they attend, the company produces no comprehensive beginner or advanded written or video tutorials, there is no built in or contextual help system , I don't have serveral thousands of dollars to buy small group classroom training given by the founder. It seems to me that you really have to work at it if you want to get infromation that is widely available at little or no cost to Cinema 4D users on the AR3. So you are right, the inside information is available if you have the money, live in europe or have time to travel there and go to all the trade shows and parties. If you want to know something you have to hunt through hundreds of pages of forum posts to find the answer. I spent $1000 on a product that after 3 or four years I still have no real grasp on how to get the results I want. Thankfully now they have dozens of render presets that can usually give me the results I want.
I've found it pretty easy to get to grips with. Certainly no harder than any other software I have. I think the main thing to remember is that Vray is not nearly as complex as it seems and you're probably going to ignore at least 60% of the settings 80% of the time.