Yeah, I feel the same. X-Particles is quite powerful -- but perfomance does not really allow for playful exploration. GPU-assistance was promised for 2020, hm, well.
I hope, the new groundwork that is being layed out for Cinema4D will someday allow for a unified physics/cloth/fluid/smoke/etc-system.
When we're at it, I would really appreciate an optional 'easy mode' with a lot of good presets that allow recreation of real-world behaviour. For example, "linnen" on "coarse wood", soaked in "milk".
Currently, a lot of users spend a lot of time solving the same problem